Nurse Bacon is now Brandi Lynn Jackson.
Well, I am still Nurse B...no changing that...but I am married and honeymooned and committed. It has been a ruff transition. You don't really know someone until every statement you make about them can be finished with "FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE". You will always hog the covers "FTROML". I will always hear Ryan say "really" all snide like when someone is driving poorly in front of him, "FTROML". The dishes will sit in the sink for days on end "FTROML". (of course they will, since I am usually the one who makes them dirty).
On the flip side, he will be my best friend "FTROML." We can go on bike dates together "FTROML". We will love each other FTROML.
It seems that in the first 2 months of marriage, it was easier to see how certain the negative traits of FTROML were. Ryan will always be a snide driver. He will always hog the covers and want to have sex first thing in the morning, even if I am not in the mood. I will never be good about doing my dishes.
During these last 2 months, my faith that the positive parts of a relationship could last became shaky. I began to doubt we could weather the strain of money, of pet ownership, of being together as partners FTROML. Ryan also lost some faith. We both gave into some fears and the shit show began.
It hurts so much to lose faith. Like your guts are being wrenched from your abdominal cavity. That place that used to burn hot and passionate, had become cold to the touch and grey in color. All I could think was, FTROML.
Luckily, Ryan and I both want this relationship to work. We want to build a solid foundation that will last FTROML. This shared desire, and the fact that neither of us are afraid of hard work when that payoff is good, is saving us from heartache. We have adopted a book that leads partners in developing the 6 pillars of a strong relationship. It may sound corny, but I think of it as team building, and any work for this aim is good work. We are both trying to communicate clearly and with love in our words. This is my downfall, so often I get scared, and then I get mean. This will not be an easy job, it will not be one that fixes itself fast. I expect we will spend a lot of time treading water and keeping our heads afloat.