My lover and I are avid Burners (translation Burning Man participants). We met there, romanced there, and even got engaged there. Most of our best friends share a love for the playa experience. The Burner experience gets a lot of bad press; it is a drug infested festival full of waste and bad behavior. I know it is not that...it is a petri dish of social culture and community building and a place to practice being in love with everyone you know.
But enough of my Burning Man dialog, I want to write about Nascar. Nascar received this nickname because he is the fix-it guy when we are out camping with the SurlyCamp, our burning man community. I had always wanted to meet someone who know how to fix stuff. I think I have often felt I was broken...how reassuring to fall in love with someone who could fix you.
Nascar Pit Crew is not your typical fix-it guy. Sure he can build engines, bend metal, and always has a little bit of oil or dirt under his fingernails. But he is so much more. He is kind - he raises animals and fish and can't wait to be a dad. (He believes he is still alive because he is supposed to raise a child). He has treated me better than anyone I have ever met. He does not expect me to wait on him or take care of him. Even more importantly, he is teaching me how to be a kinder, more loving person.
He is so giving with his love and respect of me. Spending time in this relationship has made me recognize how fearful I am to fully give my love and respect to anyone. It is almost as though I am afraid if I give it away, there will be none left when I need it. The more time I am a part of this Nascar-Bacon team I see first hand that respect and love grows as one gives more of it away. I thank the goddesses that I have found a worthwhile partner to experience this.
Nascar Pitcrew - I love you.