Sunday, April 19, 2009

Garden of the Damned

Feeling rather damned if I do, damned if I don't today.  Such beautiful weather, too many options of good times to be had.  By 12 noon today, I had given up being a worthwhile partner in crime.  I was experiencing waves of selfishness at too great a speed.

This seems to be something I experience every once in a while.  The act of developing a partnership with Nascar is not all rainbows and lollipops.  I am in the habit of being a self centered or as I like to say, independent, woman.  I was not very good at sharing before meeting him.  I shared time with close female friends, many of whom are also very independent.  We took time for pedicures, barbeques at the park, shopping.  Then I would return to my little life, taking care of my little chores like laundry, food prep, etc.  It was easy...there was no one else to consider.

This week we are dog and cat sitting for one of my co-workers.  The animals are lovely companions, but boy was I pissed to have to get up early and take the canine critter to the beach.  I have only fostered dogs in my time; I had forgotten how much time a canine critter takes.  Luckily, Nascar is a born animal whisperer, so he took point on this activity.  I am scared that when he and I get a dog, as we plan to, I will harbor resentment towards the thing.  I know it will be extremely important for me to develop a personal connection with the dog, and we will have to choose wisely, one that fits for both of us.

So with my self-centered meltdown happening, I knew I had to protect the others.  I got snitty with Nascar, but he was quick to forgive after chastising me.  I cancelled plans with Silvia and Gabby - all they need is for me to melt down during their fun Sunday plans.  I ended up digging up one more garden bed in front of the vegie beds and another down near the secret garden.  I scattered a whole bunch of wildflower seeds in both areas.  It was so satisfying to dig up rocks and rake in seeds today.  It is hot out - at least 80*.  I even got tan lines...not cool, as I have a strapless wedding dress.  No more tank topped digging for me.  I think the wildflower gardens will be named Garden of the Damned.  

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About Me

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I am Nurse Bacon, a registered nurse who works hard and and lives a full life with her husband, Nascar Pitcrew. A little surly and a little sensitive, I am very much enamored with life and its nuances.