I'm Glad You Are Here

The spring time is in full force.  Our gardens are planted.  The chickens are a'laying.  Things are a'changing.  I am attempting to devote more time to creative pursuits, namely sewing and gardening.  I am a perpetual worker, always believing the job is the most important piece of the puzzle.  I am allowing this time in my life to explore some other avenues.  Maybe the "career path" for me is a windy, flat one.   Perhaps I do not have to run up the hills of success, but can more easily wander the paths of fulfillment.  Does fulfillment equal success?  What defines fulfillment?  These questions are crowding my brain and my heart.  There is no right answer, I know.  One must try on life and see what fits best.

Despite all my questions, there is one thing I am very sure of.  I know my husband is glad I am here.  As importantly, I am glad he is here with me.  We approach our second wedding anniversary in a completely settled, yet exciting place.  We have built a home flexible enough to include others.  We have continued to individually grow, and then build our relationship on these personal growths.  We are building a family and trying to devote more time to the families we come from.  I am just realizing that overall happiness is an accumulation of many small moments of feeling happy.  As a person who is always dodging depression's bullet, this is a major breakthrough.  I thank Nascar, most especially, for leading me to this realization.  Every day I realize how glad I am that he is here.  It is the little things he does, like fixing the washer and dryer, doing the dishes while Gabby and I chat after dinner, placing his hand on my head as I try to fall asleep.  Our partnership has grown into a lush field of contentment, with respect and gratitude as the soil.

Here are some photographs of the Jackson family.  We were lucky enough to spend a fantastic afternoon with Nascar's grandparents last month.  The family gathering was a casual salute to the blessings of family and birthday celebrations for Grandpa and Gary.  His grandparent's will be married 61 years in August.  To spend time with them, brings me so much inspiration as to how I would like my marriage to look 60 years from now.

Vonnie and Jack Jackson - married 60 years and counting and their love is still palpable.

Nascar and his grandparents.  

He credits Grandma Vonnie with his artistic bent, and still has the clown painting she painted for him many years ago.  

Me and Gary, Nascar's dad.  Thank you Gary, for always making me feel so much a part of the family.  

2001 until Now

Recognizing my own potential, disregarding the limits I once set for myself.  Within a national tragedy, I found the motivation to expand my reach.  On September 11, 2001, I sat in Dolores Park, under the most silent sky I have ever seen.  Not one plane to be heard or spotted in the sky.  I sat in the Park and grew up a little bit more.

Sept 11, 2001, the world changed.  I saw many people die on tv, I was sent home from work at 830am.  Forced to ride home on a train of frantic people.  I decided that day, while watching the destruction and loss of life being televised, that I would become a nurse.  I do not wish anyone to die, but I do believe that for every yin there is a yang.  Seeing so much potential lost in those burning buildings, recognizing in that train ride, that you never know when your last ride may be, inspired me to LEARN something, to devote myself to something.

Osama Bin Laden, the mastermind behind the tragedy, was killed Sunday.  I cannot cheer for his death.  I will continue to mourn the loss of life and potential his action caused, and I will always dedicate my practice to those who first inspired me.  I applaud our president for treating this moment in time with dignity and respect.  His choice to not exploit the death of an enemy and turn it into propaganda for our country may begin the healing of this tit for tat game that has been played for the last 10 years.

I finish this blog with a quote, I read on another friend's blog this morning.  Check her site out for some insightful musings about how this frenetic 10 years has looked and felt politically.  Nobody says it better than Mustang Josi, except maybe, Martin Luther King, Jr.

http://travelinthemouth.wordpress.com/2011/05/02/obligatory-post-on-osama-bin-loggin/

“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.